"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation.

You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
Dr. Adrian Rogers 1931-2005

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

How to Treat a Child

This is part of a continuing series~read How to Treat a Woman here, and How to Treat a Man here.

No matter how the world spins things, the next generation is by far our greatest gift to mankind.  We aspire to do great deeds, and some actually do so, and perhaps gain recognition, fame, and wealth.  The rest of us are most likely known in our little corner of the world.  That is nothing to feel bad about or think you have failed because the world doesn't bow at your feet.  What you do in your little corner has monumental impact on those around you.  The choice in how you behave is yours and yours alone.  Through the  next generation is how you can impact the world without gaining those accolades I listed above.  Nope, you will not gain money or fame through a child. BUT you will receive something far more valuable.  You will receive their love, their smiles, and the knowledge that a bit of you lives on through them.

On to How to Treat a Child.

1.  Love them.  Seriously.  Work at this every day.  Think often about them. Think about the moment you held the child first in your arms on days when they are testing the fences (Jurassic Park reference). 

2.  Remove all of your expectations for the child and instead give them the expectation of being the best that they can be.  If you were a football player or an artist or a doctor~this does not mean your child will be.  Allow them to become...think about this.  We are all in progressing of becoming.  Some of us are new to the path, others are midway, and others are nearing the end of their trail of becoming, but in different periods in our lives we become different things. (for example-someday I will become a grandmother)

3. Be consistent and have a schedule.  It is terrible never knowing what the day will bring and sets adults nerves on edge.  Imagine the children who may not understand what is going on, and then never giving them a constant to expect.  Feed them at the same times.  Put them to bed at the same time.  Be consistent and you will all be happier and more functional.

4.  Treat the child with respect.  Once again, I am going to say~seriously.  Do not dismiss the efforts made by a child in their drawings, the way they clean, or even in their speech.  If you mock them when they are small, they will become a person you cannot stand as an adult.  Children are learning.  They need to be taught by you through example. Then do not expect a standard that you have for something that you have been doing for 20 to 30 more years. Praise them when they do well. 

5.  Treat others around you with respect.  Your child mimics EVERYTHING you do.  If you are a foul mouthed rude person, your child will be too.  If you want to ensure your child is respectful of others you need to begin with you first.  

6. Remember your child is not tainted or scarred by horrific images and thoughts yet.  DO NOT taint your child.  As they age they will learn about evil events, horrible people, and things that we adults should not have to deal with.  STOP polluting their minds now.  Much of this comes from television and movies.  Innocence is something precious and should be guarded by those that are guardians~Parents!

7.  Do not think that a child must do more than you do in a week.  A child is learning how to become a functional member of society and to remind you most will be unknown functional members of society.  Do not fill their schedule with so much CRAP that you, the child, and the family setting is disrupted.  If you are running to and fro for a 6 year old to be in sports, music, clubs, and school...then it is time to reassess.  Let the child be 6.  Pockets should be loaded with things found outside or that they find some significance in, faces should have a milk or juice mustache,  and they should have crayons and books to fill their extra time at home.  If you have a child that has a gift, promote the gift...but be sure it is this instead of your dreams being placed on the child.

8. Read to your child.  For our family, the Bible first, then books, books, books.  If you cannot afford books, libraries are loaded down.  Thrift stores sell books for about a dime. Read good stories, heartfelt stories, uplifting stories, adventurous stories, and inspire the child to anticipate then next night and reading again.  For our home I read poetry during lunch time.  Oh and it was Shel Silverstein over and over.  They loved it.  Eric Carle has some fantastic books as well.  The Little House on the Prairie and the Great Brain series are incredible also.  I love what Bill says to the kids(well our grown up kiddos), he tells them all the time, good input in, good input out.  Why spoil their minds when they are so young? 

9.  Establish a chore chart.  Oh and no income, no allowance, no perks for this. Being part of a family is being part of a unit that works together for the good of the family.  This is a lesson in adulthood as well as in the work place many people have to work together or things go down hill fast.   In your chore chart have age appropriate chores and follow through.  Do not expect perfection. Expect obeying your rules with joy and doing the best that the child can do. 

10. PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN.  If you have children, put the phone down.  It is so crazy to go to stores and see parents texting while with their children.  Be with your children when you are with them.  Having established bedtimes gives you time, but the child needs your time when he or she is awake.  They are that important, they are that worth it.  Texting someone LOL is not in the realm of reality with a child.

That is my beginning list.  Here are some thoughts with my goof troop that made all the difference.

* When our oldest was about 6, he was reading everything and anything.  He would read to the younger three.  One time we were at a park and someone had in graffiti written the f-word.  My oldest read the plaque on the military statue as well as the f-word.  I blinked a bit and looked at him, but he had no idea what he read, so I continued to walk and never~NEVER~said anything to him.  If you spotlight the negative~the child will know it, and then they will repeat it over and over again.   We had a kind word standard in our home.  I did not even allow the word hate when they were small.

*In our home we taught the children to always knock before entering someone's room.  The boys shared a room and then Fourth had her room, but the boys room was the hang out room. Even if Fourth ran to her room to get another toy, when she returned she would knock. 

*At the dinner table, we would say, "please pass the____,"  or "thank you." 

* When Bill came home from work, we all stopped what we were doing and greeted him. 

*We did have rules about the front seat.  The oldest that was going on the trip was allowed to have the front seat if only one parent was going, BUT we do have two that for two months of the year are the same age.  We allowed that window to be the break for the younger of the two to have the front seat~if he called it.

* We played with our children.  Whether soccer, basketball, or board games we set an established time each week and played as a family together.  This continued until about two years ago when the middle two both moved out and took full time jobs.  Now we play a game such as Apples to Apples or the like with the group when we all get together. It is as fun now as it was when they were small.  Snacks are provided, and laughter occurs naturally.

* Bill and I loved the kids.  We snuggled them, we hugged them, we let them know that they were and still are the most important things in our lives.  The other day, First needed something from me.  It required a trip to town and only was for about ten minutes but I went.  He is my son.  My legacy is through them as much as my mom's is through me.  I take that very serious.  My kids know I am an emotional nutcase when I see them succeed.  My craft room has several areas of things the kids made...I love them, and I do have blinders on with a good dose of reality.

* Oh a biggie- we taught the kids competition.  This is a serious one.  The world is a competition whether it is for the next promotion or the parking spot near your workplace.  Learning how to win is easy, but learning how to compete is more important.  We had yo-yo contests, hulu hoop contest, grasshopper catching contest, pogo stick contest, races, dart throwing, ball tossing, and such.  Learning how to dust off and congratulate the winner is as important as learning that if there is a next time you can try harder.

The Goof Troop 1996
L-R Second First Third

The Goof Troop  November 2013*
L-R First Third Fourth Second
*Time for the annual photo!!
How to treat a child or a man or woman is a reflection upon yourself.  I will address a comment I received in How to Treat a Man in an upcoming post. 

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

To our Veterans

Thank you. 

I love this country. When I see the flag flapping in the wind I still get emotional. Each day that the flag continues to fly over my home I am reminded of those who have made that possible.

                      To all the veterans of the United States Armed Forces~ thank you.

To my brother and brother-in-law,
my nephew,
to my oldest,
and my husband
I am very thankful for you service.

I know the sacrifices you have made to stand when others can't or don't.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

How to Treat a Man

Now this is directed to wives and my experience with men is and has been all of my life. I have three brothers that showed me from birth how men are (in their primitive state), my husband, and then raising three sons, all which have helped me formulate this post. 

I hope you have a pad and pen.
1. Love them unconditionally.
2. Do not emasculate them.
3. Listen to them.
4. Feed them.

That's it.

Yep. Men are simply amazing. It's hard to know that if you only watched television, movies, or listened to the feminist speak about them. Unlike women, men are far easier to define and list what is expected. For the past 50 years women have been told that men aren't needed, or if they are they are

Since I provided several images with my How to Treat a Woman post, I  thought I would share some images for this post as well.

How to Treat a Man
 Love him.  He overcomes diversity, distress, and danger
all for you and never complains.

Laugh with him.
So he has big hands to your small hands~
make him his very own driedel!

Appreciate that he says over and over, that he loves
anything in a burrito and indulge him.

Feed him:
It isn't that hard.  By the way, burritos are pretty delish!

Feed him some more:
Breakfast is one of the three most important meals of the day.

Feed him more still!
By the way, it is okay to cook a diverse style of food.
He will look at you and love it...even if it is not so good.

Love him.  He is willing to walk back across
dangerous heights to ensure you safety.

Love him. Real men
don't care if their shed is painted in flowers.

Play with him.  Challenge him. He knows that you
are as competitive as him...and he smiles while he plays.

Thank him.  When the world seems to be on top of each
other, a million dollar view, with your very own county
(not maintained) road...is an incredible gift. 

Cherish him.  He doesn't see the dust. Trust me.
The note made him smile and that was that.

Thank him.  If your home is not like a television home, 
and you paint your floors while you wait to do something else,
be grateful.  

I do not know all men...but I do know my man.  He is a good man.  He is the most important man in the world.  Seriously. All women should try this.  If you treat your man like he is the most important man in the world, you will be amazed at how he treats you, others around him, and himself. My man is the hero that crosses the threshold each morning and each evening.  My man is the person that for many years of his life put a weapon on his belt to ensure the kids and I were cared for.  My man has worked up to three jobs at a time to protect and preserve our family. It is quite simply so easy to treat him the way I do, as I believe he is the most important man in the world.  

I know to strengthen a marriage one could do well to work on a few of the things I have shared, catered to the individual needs of your husband or wife. 

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Did you ever have

a pity party all for yourself? I have been having one for too long.  In fact, it is time to take down the pity party balloons and streamers.  You see, pretty much any time I begin to feel woebegone, I think about my mom.  Now I am anchored in my faith but at times, a human face to connect directly to me is necessary.

While I am thinking about her, I thought I would share about her again.  To my readers~my mom passed away in 2011.

My mom was the baby of 8 children.  She had a nephew born a few months before she was born.  Crazy, but true.  She grew up in Ohio in a devout Catholic family, and planned to become a nun.  She had either scarlet or rheumatic fever (can't remember which one), and at that time was not allowed to become a nun.  I really do not know exactly why but this is now story with a few interesting angles that remain as they are!  Instead of becoming a nun, she got her degree and headed south to a Mission School in Texas.  She was set up on a blind date by another teacher, and within 6 months married my dad, who was an officer in the Army.
My parents
Weeks before my parents first anniversary, they had their first baby. ( I am my mother's daughter~ I did beat my parents by a few weeks with First. )

Days before my parents second anniversary, they had twins...yep. Three kids in two years.

Two months after their third anniversary, they had another.  Four kids in three years.

In case you expected # 5...so soon... not so.  Number five made his entrance 4 months into the fourth year that they were married.  52 months after my parents married...they had 5 children.

Then a huge break.  Mom and Dad made several home movies during this break.  I remember seeing one of them when I was a teen.  They were filled with the antics of two young parents with five cutie pies.

Then after 6 years 8 months...not another baby-no.  Sadly my Dad was killed in Vietnam.

Mom was  a widow the first time at 29.
Mom had to identify my father's remains while pregnant with me.

My pity party ends upon this thought.

6 years and 10 months after my parents married, I was born.

After I was born, mom moved back home to be near her family. 
When I was three she remarried.

My step-dad died the first week of my Jr. High years.

My mom became a widow for the second time at 41. 
And with my step-dad came a sister the same age as the oldest, so now the ages for the first four...are doubles, and she had one more babe.  My little sister was 4 when my step-dad died.  It is quite hard to think about so many kids that never really got to know their dads.  It is harder to realize that my mom raised us the way she did, for the most part, alone.

She had 7 teens at one time. 

She never remarried again.

For her remaining 31 years she was fortunate enough to see lots of grandbabies born.
18 to be exact.
Her legacy continues.

The grandbabies are now having babies.
14 to be exact.
And her legacy continues.

My mother did not want a funeral.  Instead those of us that could make it, celebrated a wake the night before she died.  I'd like to believe her last moments were smiling and laughing because boy do my siblings and the grandkids get loud.  I was as quite as a church mouse~I promise.

My mother did not want a burial nor headstone.  I think this was loyalty to the kids.  Where should she be buried?  Next to which dad?  I understand ever so much.

Therefore, when I have a pity party, I must dismiss it. You see a woman that did and had so much happen to her and yet she continued on with great success.  NO ONE aside from her own, consider her passing,  nor what she did here on earth, yet, without her...well never mind.  I do not need consider that possibility.

Moms always have a way of making one feel better and have that ability to change a pity party into something more.  That something more for me, is to live and continue to be the best wife and mom I can be, for mom.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

How to Treat a Woman

As a woman, my perspective on this topic is slightly one sided but it is appropriate enough to convey to others exactly how women should be treated.

How to treat a woman:
Take care of any venomous snakes.
She will want to take a photo or two of the snake, but she would prefer never to
ever see one or touch one.

Tell her that no matter where she is, call and you will pump her
gas and clean the windshield.  Tell your offspring to do this for her as well.
Never mind that a milk crate is required for her to clean her own windshield,
and that if she travels, she is capable of doing this on her own.

Be corny and sweet with her.  Old wire twisted on old fences by
the tire garden make for daily smiles.  She should be treated so
she has many reasons to smile each day.
You should treat a woman with the encompassing love that a jacket 
provides...and ignore the fact that she says she does not need a work
jacket, it isn't really too cold here~as she wears your shirtjack EVERY
single morning in the winter.  You know this because in the evenings you have to
unroll the sleeves three times and unbutton the jacket.  Yes, smiling at
her need to pull the coat off over her head instead of unbuttoning it, is endearing.

How to treat a woman is a learning curve, as she has many facets
to her personality that are what makes her completely unique.
Knowing her favorite foods and providing them makes her heart smile
and her stomach jump for joy!
Women have come a long way and are no longer "chicks" behind the wheel,
but someone that shares the driving on long trips.  In case you feel the urge, do
not refrain from calling your woman sweet names, in spite of how 
far we have come. She does love to be your love, your sweetie,
 your honey, your bff, your cutie, your darling, and your goof.

The way to treat a woman is to know what she loves (aside from you),
and provide many opportunities for her to enjoy the things she loves.
Picnics at the White Sands~superb! 

Treat a woman to many outings.  Trek to exotic places to 
snap photos of the Oryx.  Or live in Southern New Mexico...
and seize the day when you see an Oryx!!

How to treat a woman is to not conform to what society
has established as the norms.  Think outside the box and give
her the most extravagant of birthday's with the most 
simple of things! 

Learn about things that she likes.  It is not a college course, but 
a simple effort and conversation and observation.  Then take a moment
and give her something that makes her smile, by printing and framing an 
artwork by one of her favs...Carl Larrson.

Understand this book (the Bible) from the beginning to the end.
Read it with her and to her and pray for her daily.

For the record if a man does things like the above things for his woman, he will be amazed
at how he will be treated by her.  Kindness indeed begets kindness.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Life in New Mexico

is simple and actually offers both hope and joy!

is surprising.

is not for those in a hurry, sometimes you must slow down or even stop.

allows you to know what this gizmo is and what it does.*

is breathtaking even on the coldest of winter days.

is not only about mason jar vases, but is practically standard 
for flower arrangement 101.

is about beauty, with a bit of country all mixed up in 
with a bit from her mom and a bit from her dad.

*the gizmo is a chile roaster for roasted green chiles to freeze for year round use.