"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation.

You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
Dr. Adrian Rogers 1931-2005
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Friday, November 14, 2008

Marriage Defined



Who or what defines marriage? The rioting occurring in California made it clear that far too many Americans are allowing this to become a “hotbed” issue. I accept that if one is without a solid line in the defining process it is hard to lock in…clearly.

Perhaps America will alter the accepted definition, but that does not change what marriage was originally created for, nor will it define the meaning of marriage. Marriage was created by God. Adam and Eve were the first man and wife…yes that is how it was, and what is accepted by God.

A marriage between a man and woman in the United States has a fifty-fifty chance of divorce, so I see how it has become possible for the argument that this is unsuccessful and therefore it is time to broaden the definition. I argue that it is not time to redefine the genders of marital partners, but it is time to understand marriage. It is time to understand the role of a man and woman. It is time to understand what a marriage is all about.

Sadly we live in times where the union of marriage begins the race of accumulation and not devotion to God.

Today as I visited with a friend she noticed that I do not have a wedding ring on. She asked where my ring was, and I briefly explained that I wore my wedding set on a necklace when pregnant with my third son as my fingers would swell. I even wore Bill’s wedding band as he was in the Army and preferred not to have it on while on duty. I went into labor early and went to the hospital without grabbing the rings on the necklace. I left the necklace on my bedpost.

We had our neighbors teen daughters sit with the other two boys, and when I came home, I noticed the rings were gone. As we had no proof that they took the rings~ we chose not accuse anyone, as the rings did not make us married. As I spoke this aloud I realized how very true this is. So many women desire an expensive diamond ring, and then the marriage ends in a few years. Rings most definitely do not make the marriage.

God made marriage. Through God we can maintain the marriage. That is why I have never needed a replacement set…

Whether our nation changes what marriage means or not will not nullify what God did. Man is funny thinking that if he squeezes his eyes closed long enough that God will disappear…no He will not. God created this world and all that is in it, regardless of what any of us believe.

So I will not battle against man and his hate of God, when marriage is redefined. Nope I will not. I will instead continue to glorify God by honoring my marriage and the vow I made before God. I will be an example of what a marriage can be like when one does this.
Jennifer, wife of Bill

*photo is of my parents on their wedding day and my mother's mom and dad-1960*

Friday, August 22, 2008

PS~ It is Worth It

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24

August is my anniversary month, and as I reflect over my 20 years with my Bill, I thought I would write about marriage.

-Marriage is so important to God that it was the first of three divine institutions and was patterned to illustrate Christ’s love for the church.

So God sees my marriage important. Powerful to wrap my mind around, yet incredibly awesome to realize I need to change my attitude towards my marriage. I need to place my marriage upon a divine pedestal. I need to constantly reflect that God designed this for me. To think about marriage in these ways, begins to raise its importance.

Do you dress up for your role? Do you place the finest china out as a wife? Do you monitor your speech and keep thoughts pure and clean? Do you see your marriage as a union that is unbreakable?

-God’s pattern for marital happiness is evident when a man leads his family, with children who obey and reverence for their parents. (Ephesians 6:1-4), with a wife who respects and supports her husband’s leadership (Ephesians 5:21-33). A mutually supportive attitude must characterize both husband and wife if they are to succeed in building a harmonious home.

This is the perfect example. What happens when only one part follows God’s pattern? Well to be honest as a sinner, none of us is the ideal spouse or child. But attitude does make a home. The role of a wife is complementary. It is easy to bake a meal, when you know it will bring a look to you over the heads of your children. It is easy to make the bed each morning, knowing that when your husband walks in the room he feels good. Could he say why? Perhaps not, just that he sees the home front as the reason to continue on in the daily grind.

Happiness and joy are contagious.
One does not need to be pious to be the wife that the Lord desires you to be. A wife can bring reduce the heaviness of the world from her husbands shoulders by being silly. She can put up her hair in a fun youthful way. She can change the rules one day and involve the entire family to participate (for example take over the chores of the children for a day). Wives have the control switch on ambiance in the home. Wives can organize a family checkers play off. Wives can take the children aside and learn a fun song and have after dinner theatre. Or have a poetry reading contest, and close with a simple Roses are red love poem for her husband.

I am a woman in case you are wondering. I am not always bubbly, fun, silly, in love, and charitable. But I do know that I can quickly sour the mood as easy as I can brighten the mood in the home. Marriage is not easy. It never has been. See the book of Genesis…Adam Eve, Abraham Sarah…and that is just one book and not all the examples it entails. But to reduce marriage to a talk show or to Hollywood’s standards has been damaging to the foundation. Second marriages are equally hard. I know as my mother remarried when I was three. I saw the competition between the relationship, the anger in his kid, or her kids…and on and on. I do not have the perfect solution for what one should do. My thoughts on marriage in this post were to reveal the importance that God places on marriage, and one can begin to change the atmosphere by lifting the mood. We cannot ever control the mood of our spouses…but we can control and then improve ours.

I do say that I love my role of being a wife and could never have imagined that I would have 20 years ago. I love that my job never ends, and that it is constantly growing with the children, and in a decade will be a role where it is just my sweetie and I.

I am saddened when I read or hear women debasing their husbands. I am sad that a woman in the 21st century feels the need to compete with the man, instead of recognizing that we are different and that this is a blessing. I challenge wives to refuse to participate in dialogue such as this. I challenge wives to not speak ill of their husbands.

I also challenge wives to date her love. Giggle with him, sit close to him, and whisper in his ear. Squirt him with a water bottle (not a lot) and runoff laughing-bring the youthful fervor back. It is worth it as the Lord designed it for you.

And to give you a peek in my youthful love (in my 40’s), I sat next to Bill in the front seat while on a trip to see our oldest yesterday (in our truck it is a bench seat in the front with seatbelts!). The youngest three (all impressionable and prepping to pick their mates) were able to witness the fun and joy that a couple can have. In fact the kids got involved in the silliness, as it is infectious.

So love your husband today like you did the day that you married him. He is worth it, because God told us.

PS...I love you Bill
Jennifer