"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation.

You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
Dr. Adrian Rogers 1931-2005

Friday, October 23, 2015

The hardest thing about

having all the children moved out on their own isn't what I expected.  I have discovered that I am not wallowing in sadness that I have no more wee ones, nor am I aching for their presence 24-7.  I have decided that the hardest thing about having the children moved out is allowing me to spend time doing things I enjoy without feeling guilty.  I don't mean that I am consumed by guilt but for most of my adult life I have placed the needs of pretty much everyone else before the needs I have.  Please don't misunderstand. I am a mother.  It seems that I couldn't live any other way.  I am certain mom's 'round the world understand this.

I have been taking only art courses.  I do not have an end game aside from the pleasure of learning and enjoying what I create.  I actually have had to work through the notion that I am not wasting fuel when I go to town for class.  Crazy isn't it?  I have to put in check feelings that I should be accomplishing something for the family, and take a deep breath and embrace this new path I am on.

I have to remind myself it is okay to buy myself something without wondering who needs this or that first.  I also have to remind myself that in this new place I can say no without guilt.  I am not mom full time but mom from the side line and I need to allow each of my goofs to walk through life and learn as one becomes not because of the ease of life, but  of the things that test one. 

I love my children and yes, even as adults I will always think of them as my bubboos, cutie pies, sweeties, and snuggle bunnies, but I am confident in what Bill and I did as parents that they will be fine in life.  Oh and fine does not mean perfect without hardships, but fine in they have a foundation and from there can build and rebuild when they need to.

I guess as I conclude this post that while I am learning to be an empty nest parent, I am not alone and my partner in crime reassures me all the time that I am first and should be.  For that I am content as I embark upon this new path in earnest.
This photo is from Gila Cliff Dwellings photo credit Double Nickel Farm


justdifferent said...

Yes. You understand.

Humble wife said...

JD- I believe I do, but still working on being comfortable in this new position without guilt!