Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24
August is my anniversary month, and as I reflect over my 20 years with my Bill, I thought I would write about marriage.
-Marriage is so important to God that it was the first of three divine institutions and was patterned to illustrate Christ’s love for the church.
So God sees my marriage important. Powerful to wrap my mind around, yet incredibly awesome to realize I need to change my attitude towards my marriage. I need to place my marriage upon a divine pedestal. I need to constantly reflect that God designed this for me. To think about marriage in these ways, begins to raise its importance.
Do you dress up for your role? Do you place the finest china out as a wife? Do you monitor your speech and keep thoughts pure and clean? Do you see your marriage as a union that is unbreakable?
-God’s pattern for marital happiness is evident when a man leads his family, with children who obey and reverence for their parents. (Ephesians 6:1-4), with a wife who respects and supports her husband’s leadership (Ephesians 5:21-33). A mutually supportive attitude must characterize both husband and wife if they are to succeed in building a harmonious home.
This is the perfect example. What happens when only one part follows God’s pattern? Well to be honest as a sinner, none of us is the ideal spouse or child. But attitude does make a home. The role of a wife is complementary. It is easy to bake a meal, when you know it will bring a look to you over the heads of your children. It is easy to make the bed each morning, knowing that when your husband walks in the room he feels good. Could he say why? Perhaps not, just that he sees the home front as the reason to continue on in the daily grind.
Happiness and joy are contagious. One does not need to be pious to be the wife that the Lord desires you to be. A wife can bring reduce the heaviness of the world from her husbands shoulders by being silly. She can put up her hair in a fun youthful way. She can change the rules one day and involve the entire family to participate (for example take over the chores of the children for a day). Wives have the control switch on ambiance in the home. Wives can organize a family checkers play off. Wives can take the children aside and learn a fun song and have after dinner theatre. Or have a poetry reading contest, and close with a simple Roses are red love poem for her husband.
I am a woman in case you are wondering. I am not always bubbly, fun, silly, in love, and charitable. But I do know that I can quickly sour the mood as easy as I can brighten the mood in the home. Marriage is not easy. It never has been. See the book of Genesis…Adam Eve, Abraham Sarah…and that is just one book and not all the examples it entails. But to reduce marriage to a talk show or to Hollywood’s standards has been damaging to the foundation. Second marriages are equally hard. I know as my mother remarried when I was three. I saw the competition between the relationship, the anger in his kid, or her kids…and on and on. I do not have the perfect solution for what one should do. My thoughts on marriage in this post were to reveal the importance that God places on marriage, and one can begin to change the atmosphere by lifting the mood. We cannot ever control the mood of our spouses…but we can control and then improve ours.
I do say that I love my role of being a wife and could never have imagined that I would have 20 years ago. I love that my job never ends, and that it is constantly growing with the children, and in a decade will be a role where it is just my sweetie and I.
I am saddened when I read or hear women debasing their husbands. I am sad that a woman in the 21st century feels the need to compete with the man, instead of recognizing that we are different and that this is a blessing. I challenge wives to refuse to participate in dialogue such as this. I challenge wives to not speak ill of their husbands.
I also challenge wives to date her love. Giggle with him, sit close to him, and whisper in his ear. Squirt him with a water bottle (not a lot) and runoff laughing-bring the youthful fervor back. It is worth it as the Lord designed it for you.
And to give you a peek in my youthful love (in my 40’s), I sat next to Bill in the front seat while on a trip to see our oldest yesterday (in our truck it is a bench seat in the front with seatbelts!). The youngest three (all impressionable and prepping to pick their mates) were able to witness the fun and joy that a couple can have. In fact the kids got involved in the silliness, as it is infectious.
So love your husband today like you did the day that you married him. He is worth it, because God told us.
PS...I love you Bill