This is a post that may seem directed to women, but for any man reading this they can insert him or he instead of the female pronoun. This morning as I was reading Hosea I made a few index card notes. Not of scripture verses. When I looked at these notes I realized that I had the basics of a marriage reboot session. So here are my notes which are both in question and statement form. Ponder your relationship with your spouse for each question/statement.
1) Do you know him?
2)Do you love him?
3)Do not be ungrateful to him.
4) Do not fail to recognize him.
5) Do not be unfaithful to him.
6) Do not forget him.
Now my thoughts on our spouses:
1) Do you know him? This is a very important question. I mean this quiet seriously. Do you know him in every area? Have you tried to get to know your spouse. Dating didn't end when you married. This is a daily thing. And this is not just about the trivial things either. This is about how your spouse feels about God, love, life, children, and even how he sees you...truly(not how you see yourself)
2)Do you love him? I mean deep down, heart stops for a moment when you think of the moment that you will have to part(as one dies).
3)Do not be ungrateful to him. Are you purposeful spiteful, when he seems to have more down time, or because he is not home when you have to address issues with the children? Do you go out of your way to make sure he understands how much you appreciate the fact that you have food, shelter, clothing, and love? Make sure that you implement the very same things you did when you dated, romantic notes, hugs for no reason, and hold his hand. This is very important.
4) Do not fail to recognize him. Are you sometimes so busy with the children or home that you forget his importance when he arrives home? Do you make decisions then seek his advice? Always place your spouse in the role of senior adviser. They are your spouse. You selected him, and he therefore is who you lean on in every situation, not a girlfriend, nor your blog, or your parents, but him. Trust in him, make him the one you all stand and greet when he arrives home.
5) Do not be unfaithful to him. Now this is one that most of us will say, well I am not unfaithful. Friends we are unfaithful when we share all our troubles, fights and woes with the outside before we give him a chance to work it out with us. We are unfaithful to him, when we fail to recognize that he needs more than a hug, he needs intimacy. He needs you to believe that he is the greatest human to live. He is the most handsome, the most noble, and the most brave. When you slip in comments about another man about his characteristics, then you are inadvertently being unfaithful to your husband. Now I am not saying that when I see a young man acting heroically that I cannot point this out. I am saying that when you point out others and what they have, you are offhandedly telling your love that he cannot do this for you. Give him a chance to be the Noble man and he will not fail you, not when you are there behind him supporting him and cheering him on.
6) Do not forget him. This is so sad. We get so consumed with our life and the busy things ongoing that we forget the very person we love so dearly. The world will not cease if you miss one meeting, or an activity. But if you continue to seek the outside the very inside(your home will suffer). Let him know that he is first in your life. Make sure that you take care of his clothes so that he goes to world, clean and pressed. Serve meals that he loves(you can have your favorites for lunch), and make 2-3 special desserts a week. Now for health reasons, maybe you make something that is a treat to him. Write a short note and place it in his wallet for him to find. Let him know that sometime during the day, you thought of him. Not only call him, but create a haven for him to know that if you are with him that you are going to be just fine.
We get so consumed with *rights* and I am somebody, that we forget that being a wife is a God given design(husband too). We are no less because we stay home. We are important in the role of being a wife. Now some of you have to work or worked during the younger years, and I am not saying that that was incorrect. What I am saying is that marriage is covenant given by God. We must never minimize it, nor 'worldize' the sacredness of the union. Please take a moment and try out some of these methods(kudos if you are on this track). Even if your spouse does not reciprocate, he will notice. It may take time to change attitudes, but he will then start placing you, his wife on a higher plane.
Even though I realized that this was a great marriage lesson the real reason I took the notes was because I was thinking of God and where we are with Him.
1) Do you know Him? Meaning have you received Him as your Saviour? You cannot begin relationship unless you actually take the gift He freely gave. He died on the cross for your sins. Once you know Him, then the rest can fall in place...
2)Do you love Him? This is a big one. I mean do you love Him? Really truly? Well as best as you can as being man. Remember the love you have for your spouse, doesn't the Saviour deserve this and more?
3)Do not be ungrateful to Him. Wow, each and every day we are ungrateful to Him. We ignore His word, His sacrifice for the world. To remedy this, make time to read His word, to pray to Him, and to live by the pattern He set up in His book.
4) Do not fail to recognize Him. Another big one. This is not in what we do, as no works can achieve this. This is by admitting how much we cannot do anything without Him. I mean the money the home, the clothing, the food, the breath you take is because of Him. Do not for one moment think that you have something because of your doing. Give God the glory.
5) Do not be unfaithful to Him. Well the television in the United States is pulling so many away from our Lord and Savior. The TV is placed in the family room...not God. We strive to emulate what we see on TV(like it or not we do) and we allow this to become unfaithful to the Lord. Our barriers are broken down, and we hear language that is foul, and the immorality and we do not shut it off. We are unfaithful to Him by the way we strive to accumulate, thereby implying that it is the here and now that maintain your focus. We are unfaithful to Him in another sense too. Sometimes we portray ourselves as the perfect ones obedient to the core. This really shows our unfaithfulness. You see when one is to get right with God it is always portrayed by wearing sackcloth and ashes. So being faithful and dressing and living a modest life is faithful until you allow this to be YOUR stumbling block. And friends none of are immune to feeling as though we are the only correct ones on the planet. Remember this...Jesus Christ church is not only full of Methodist, not Lutherans, not Baptist or an Independent, but it is filled with believers, who have received His gift.
6) Do not forget Him. How much time do you devote to personal grooming? To television, to your family? To your hobby? To your job? How much time to you devote to Him? 30 minutes in the morning? 20 minutes? 10 minutes? 5 minute???
Well now you can see why I wrote these 6 things down? I really came to the conclusion that I have so much to do. I need to be in His word, I need to be praying and fasting. I really was amazed at how easy it was for me to think of things for my spouse and then ashamed to be lacking in what I have for the Lord.
I pray that this helps you.
"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation.
Dr. Adrian Rogers 1931-2005
You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."